I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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