with your own penis?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
