well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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