Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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