Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
