in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
