nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
