bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
