I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You're a waste of cheezeits
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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