Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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