he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
