He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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