Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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