It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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