You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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