When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I am naked and annoyed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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