So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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