I must be too annoying 4 u.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
