just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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