You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
