yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
