Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
