well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
