my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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