You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
