During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Found the puke drawer
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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