im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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