he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
