And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
