She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
