is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
