i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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