i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
