i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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