I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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