Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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