I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
