Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
