I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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