We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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