Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
the raccoons are back...
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