i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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