the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
