You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
