if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
