i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
