If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
