I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
