Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
