hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
