But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
