can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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